Tag Archives: religion

He still smelled of fish more than a week after the incident. The bustling crowds of Nineveh parted as he passed by as if he were Moses and they the Red Sea.

It took a day and a half for Jonah to reach the center of the city. He desperately wished to run away, maybe to India this time, but he feared what God had in store for him. A behemoth? A leviathan?

The fish-smelling Israelite lifted his arms to heaven. The crowd around him stopped to listen. “Yet forty days and Nineveh will be overthrown,” Jonah proclaimed and then left.

They had been adrift on The Sea (since there only was one sea now) for four months. When all of the games of I Spy that could be played had been played, the Noah family was at a loss as to what to do next.

“It is so stuffy in here,” complained Japheth, “and the animals sure aren’t smelling better on their own. Who designs a boat with only one window anyhow?”

“God does,” Noah said curtly.

“Oh. Right.”

Shem asked ironically, “Are we there yet?”

Seven sandals struck Shem’s face in unison.

“Go and clean the weasel cages,” Noah said.

“I spy with my little eye something blue,” Shem’s wife said as they peered out the window of the ark.

“Water,” the rest replied in unison.

“I am so bored,” said Ham, “Why doesn’t Japheth play us another song?”

“Because the last string on my lyre broke two weeks ago,” explained Japheth, “and dad won’t let me gut any of the cats to make more.”

“We need them to repopulate the earth later,” called Noah from the other side of the ark.

“Does the restored world really need cats?” Ham asked, “Because I am really dying for a song right now.”

King Saul hurled a spear at his son.

“You let David get away?” Saul roared.

“He does not oppose you, father,” Jonathan insisted.

“Lies! You hear the songs the maidens sing? They barely even mention my name. I’m the king, not that . . . shepherd!” The word tasted foul as it slogged out of his mouth.

“You cannot fight the will of God. Samuel said—”

“I am the one who united the tribes of Israel under one crown! No prophet, no giant-slayer, no deity known to men will ever strip me of my kingdom!”

The palace guards scoured the grounds for a harp.