Once upon a time, there was a spider named Theresa. She dreamed of one day winning the Miss Spider World beauty contest. Theresa subscribed to all of the beauty magazines, ate only the healthiest bugs available, and exercised to maintain her figure.
After a lifetime of preparation, Theresa achieved her dream. Everyone agreed that she was the most beautiful specimen of spiderkind that ever there was. Theresa was whisked away to begin touring the world as Miss Spider World.
She was smashed to death by a housewife in Toledo.
Moral: Even the prettiest spider is still ugly by all other standards.
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