The Basement Dweller

“Now we come to the most important of American professions in the early twenty-first century: The basement dweller.” the historian says as he ushers in the third group this day, “The environment of these paragons of American society has been painstakingly recreated.”

Cameras furiously click.

“No flash photograph, please.” The historian continues, “These spiritual leaders of American society took voluntary vows of poverty and chastity to achieve the seemingly unachievable: Eighty levels on World of Warcraft, gratuitous high scores on Rock Band, thirty-six hour gaming sessions. Truly these were more gods than they were men.”

The tourists stand in reverent silence.