Monthly Archives: November 2010

Karma

Posted on November 23, 2010 by Eric

A woman was surrounded by thugs with guns when out of nowhere a superhero clad in orange disarmed and subdued the villains in the blink of an eye.

“Thank you for saving me! You’re my hero!” the woman said.

“I’m no hero. I am Karma! I believe in absolute justice. I bring balance to the universe. I counter evil with good and good with evil!”

“What?”

Karma did not hear the question. He was busy punching a guy helping a sweet old woman across the street in the stomach. He also punched the old woman for being sweet.

Posted in 101 word short story, karma, st. louis superheroes | 1 Comment

Hope I Get Old Before I Die

Posted on November 22, 2010 by Eric

Nathan and I are talking about stages of life.

“Then there’s the point in life where you forget everything you say immediately afterward,” I say, “I can’t wait!”

“You can’t wait to be a vegetable?” Haylea says.

“No! I’m don’t want to be in a coma.” I say.

“So, what? Dementia? Alzheimer’s?” Haylea is aghast.

“Yeah! That will be so awesome!”

Autumn laughs audibly despite her lost voice. “Your eyes shined in the light when you looked up and said that!”

I tilt my head back up. “I can’t wait till I’m old!”

Posted in 101 word short story, autobiographical | 1 Comment

Poison

Posted on November 16, 2010 by Eric

The goblet fell to the floor with a terrible crash. The court looked to the king who was slumped over his table unmoving. Panic ripped through the court and accusations were made against every minister by every minister before order was restored by the sergeant at arms. The court was dismissed and an investigation was quickly made.

Poison was the report the court received, a certain type common to the Duchy of Azural. The crown prince vowed that such a deed would not go unanswered, and a call to arms was imminent.

“The king is dead!” The cry was raised by the heralds, and echoed throughout the town. “Long live the king!”

A smile crossed the face of a peasant, making his way out of the city. He was headed for a home far away on the other side of the mountains, where he would never be waited on again.

Posted in five minute fiction | Leave a comment

Coleen

Posted on November 15, 2010 by Eric

Luke sighed as the last brushstroke fell. Coleen half-smiled at him from the canvas.

Coleen was Galatea to Luke’s Pygmalion. The only difference being Galatea was already alive but in the arms of another, and Pygmalion would not be receiving any favors from Aphrodite.

It really wasn’t anything like Galatea and Pygmalion.

Luke sighed again. He wished it was different. Coleen would step out of his painting, flash that playful half-smile she always gave him and things would be different. But that’s as far as Luke’s fantasies ever went.

Luke began a new painting. Coleen took form again under his brush.

Posted in 101 word short story | 2 Comments

More Writing Tips from “Buy My eBook”

Posted on November 6, 2010 by Eric

DOW (Discourage Other Writers)

You’re a professional writer now. That means you need to distinguish yourself from other writers.

WARNING: Do not attempt to distinguish yourself by writing well.

Instead you should DOW so you’ll have less competition. Say it “reduces the din of mediocre writing that consumers can’t distinguish from good writing” or some equally elitist tripe.

Lament over amateurs attempting to write a novel in a month. Point out that 50,000 words isn’t really novel-length. Whine that these neanderthals don’t realize writing is a craft, not a silly game!

Keep the profession free from enthusiasm and merriment! DOW!

~~~
Check out the other interesting excerpts from the only guide to writing you will ever need: Buy My eBook: An Author’s Guide to Being an Author!

Posted in 101 word short story, Buy My eBook | 1 Comment

Mauling Me Softly (With His Claws)

Posted on November 3, 2010 by Eric

After James, the only man Emily would ever love, left, Emily mourned a full three days before she found Isaac.

“It’s awesome how you’re always shirtless. It’s like a metaphor for how you’re comfortable with who you are,” Emily said. “Also for how you’re hot.”

“I may have a rock-hard body,” Isaac said, “but I also have . . . a curse!”

“Are you a werewolf? Woof!” Emily breathed.

“It’s a curse! I’d tear you to shreds!”

“Yes!” Emily moaned.

A moment later Emily was alone mourning the loss of the only man she would ever love.

~~~
Read Emily and James’ short lived romance in Why Must I Be a Vampire in Love.

Posted in 101 word short story | Tagged | 1 Comment

Reverse

Posted on November 1, 2010 by Eric

“Where do you think you’re going dressed like that, young man?” Danny’s mother blocked the front door.

“Learn to me want you don’t? Mother, school to going I’m,” Danny said with surprising speed.

“Your shirt is inside out. Your shoes are on the wrong feet. YOUR UNDERWEAR IS ON THE OUTSIDE OF YOUR PANTS!”

“Day Reverse it’s!” Danny said. “‘Correctness’ of notions simple your from freed am I. Be should it as.”

Danny’s mother’s eye twitched.

Posted in five minute fiction | Leave a comment