Daily Archives: August 31, 2010

Replacement

A tall man in a trench coat stood between the potatoes and carrots of the Winn-Dixie swearing into his Bluetooth.

“You can’t do this to me. I’ve been on this case too long to just be thrown away like some moldy,” he looked around for a good noun, “cucumber.”

The other shoppers kept their distance.

“What do you mean he’s already on his way?” the man continued.

Another man in the same trench coat but wearing a goatee stood beside the livid man. “It’s time,” he said.

“Twenty-seven years. Twenty-seven years and this is how it ends?”

“‘Fraid so.”

A muffled shot ripped through the first man’s stomach.

“Clean up in produce,” the intercom buzzed five minutes later.

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Zombie Depression

“Go away. I’m not technically alive,” George said without even looking up.

The knocking continued unabated.

“Look. It’s over. I give up. I can’t take it anymore,” George continued his pitiful rant. He was referring of course to the fact that by some fluke of the universe, during a zombie epidemic, he had retained his cognitive abilities.

The knocking still persisted.

George lifted his decaying body. “I have no one to talk to. I apparently can’t die again.” George opened the door. “So just leave me alo—”

“Hello,” said a disfigured zombie-ette. She was the most beautiful sight George ever saw.

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