“The best new author since the last one I wrote a review for, which was immediately prior to this.”
“Eric is able to weave a tale like a master weaver weaves things that are woven: Adequately.”
“It’s as if he replaced his own brain with the brains of Shakespeare and Einstein combined and it became one super-brain. That is the only possible explanation for this book.”
“I literally shot myself in the head after reading only two paragraphs, because I knew then and there anything I wrote would never compare even if I had a thousand years to perfect my craft.”
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Wait…. then how did he post that last comment! He probably went forward in time, found out what happened by reading maybe only the first paragraph, and then wrote the review. Then his only option was to go back in time and know that on this fateful day, he would read the most spectacular piece of writing in his ever so short life.
I wish authors could write things like this on the back of their books. They’d be awesome to read =D
If people asked me for blurbs, that’s the kind I’d try to get past marketing. Sadly, I doubt many in that department have a sense of humor. That would make those a lot more fun to read!
The second one sounds like something I’d write. Also, “If I had a device capable of traveling backward through time, I’d use it to locate this author shortly after he finished writing this book and kill him so I could then submit the manuscript and reap the inevitable profits.”