Monthly Archives: March 2010

Harold shook his head in disbelief at the heavyset man occupying two seats on the bus.

“Can you believe that guy?” Harold whispered to his wife Josephine. “How can someone get into that kind of shape? I’m going to say something. I have to say something.”

Josephine said, “Don’t make a scene, Harold.”

“Look at him. Even his eyebrows are fat. His eyebrows!” Harold then called to the man, “Hey, buddy. It’s called Weight Watchers!”

The man heaved himself out of his seat and lumbered over to Harold.

“Now you’ve done it,” said Josephine.

The man sat on Harold and Josephine.

Mark lets out a sharp exhale. They were beginning to delve into some really deep stuff. “I have this fantasy where I’m like other people.”

“You’re not like other people?” Dr. Papapoulos scribbles some notes.

“For example: I care deeply about how other people think about me. Nobody else does. I mean it. Nobody. Everyone else just does what they want. If they offend someone, it’s that other person’s fault. If they’re offended by someone, it’s also that other person’s fault. I fantasize I could treat people as carelessly as they treat me.”

“That’s stupid,” Dr. Papapoulous says.

Mark weeps bitterly.

“Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger,” Valerie says.

“What if you’re brutally maimed?” Tom says. “You’re certainly not stronger in that scenario!”

Indistinct mutterings of agreement spread throughout the group.

“Okay,” Valerie sighs, “Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger or brutally maims you.”

“What if it leaves you with a crippled psyche, the husk of the former person you once were?” Jessica asks.

More muffled expressions of agreement.

“Fine,” Valerie, exasperated, says, “Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger or brutally maims you or leaves you with a crippled psyche, the husk of the former person you once were.”