Analogies

If you ever had a problem, Fred was always there, and he had an analogy for whatever situation you found yourself in. The problem was that none of his analogies ever made sense.

“Sorry to hear about you and Rachel,” he said one time, “You just need to take all the bad things in your relationship and pick those out of your wallet like they’re old fast food receipts. Then take the good things, those are gold coins, and put ‘em in your pocket. Watch out for the leprechaun, though. He’ll take your coins and tell you to get over it.”