Side Effects May Include Delirium

“Forgive me, Lipitor, for I have sinned against thee. I have partaken in food that I knew would raise my bad cholesterol. The temptation was just too great for me. But, O Great Lipitor, if thou art designed to lower my cholesterol, then why must I still be bound to this restrictive diet? Hast thou not lowered my cholesterol already? Dost thou not care that I suffer daily as I watch everyone around me eat whatever they wish? Should I not be allowed an indulgence here and there? Couldst thou just look the other way, if thou knowst whatst I’m sayingst?”