Monthly Archives: August 2008

The first two measures of The Entertainer played on a continual loop attracting kids from far and wide.

“Sorry kids, but with rising gasoline and food prices, we’ve had to slightly raise our prices,” the ice cream truck driver explained, “The Choco-pops literally cost an arm and a leg. Rainbow Rockets cost a single flower: the White Morning Flower, which blooms once every fifteen years and only on the peak of Mount Kilimanjaro.”

“I only have a nickel,” said Andy.

“Well, we do have the Vanilla Cone . . . provided your nickel is a 1913 Liberty Head nickel, valued five million US dollars.”

“Eureka!”

Igor quickly hobbled down the stairs, “What is it, my Master?”

“Igor, I know I say this all the time, but believe when I say that this time I have finally stumbled upon the invention that will change human development as fundamentally as fire, or the wheel, or the all-you-can-eat buffet! Behold!” Dr. Frankenstein dramatically whipped a sheet off his latest creation. Glorious silence filled the room as the mad scientist allowed Igor proper time to soak it all in. “Impressive, eh?” he finally said.

“What is it?”

“I call it the solar-powered flashlight!”

Igor sighed.

Bill pursed his lips in sheer anticipation as Ursula the critic peered over his manuscript. Bill was sure he could improve his writing with her advice. After several minutes Ursula put down the manuscript with a jaded sigh.

“Is it bad?” Bill winced as he asked.

“It’s okay, I suppose,” Ursula sighed again, “just not very original.”

“Which part?”

“All of it! There’s a hero, a villain, a love interest, secondary characters. It’s all been done before.”

“But those are just basic elements of a novel.”

“Overused is more like it. Also, why did you write this in English? So predictable!”

Russ and George ordered lunch at the local burger joint and sat down to eat together. Russ reached over and took a handful of George’s fries.

“Hey! Those are my fries,” said George.

“I’m taking these fries because they’re a side dish, a disputable part of the meal,” said Russ, “At least I’m not eating your burger.” Immediately finishing his sentence, Russ grabbed hold of George’s burger and took a bite.

“You can’t do that!” George protested.

“Yes I can. It’s a peacekeeping measure,” explained Russ.

“How is it peacekeeping?”

“If you don’t let me eat it, there won’t be peace.”