Hillbilly Philosophy

“‘Ey, Jim Bob?”

“Yeah, Cletus?”

“Ya ever think that maybe we hain’t lived up ta our po-tan-tial?”

“How ya mean, Cletus?”

“Well, I was thinkin’ maybe I shoulda gone on ta second grade. Maybe with an ed-gee-kay-tion I wouldn’t be worr’in’ so much about Mex-ee-kans takin’ my jobs.”

“That shore is dangerous talk, Cletus. Bein’ interspective ’bout yer own short-comin’s rather than blamin’ others based upon nation o’ origin might jus’ get ya thrown outta the gentleman’s club.”

“I know but didn’ Gee-zis say, ‘Pull the plank outta yer own eye first?’”

“Cletus, I ain’t seein’ no plank in yer eyes.”